Two sleeps

Mutterings continued.

Here's my contribution to the festive season. I haven't put my tree up this year so this will have to do.



Important seasonal news:

"Christmas puzzle cracked

Scientists have come up with a formula for "the perfect Christmas cracker pull".

Keeping a firm, two-handed grip spreads the force around the cracker and prevents it from tearing at your end, according to experts from research organisation QinetiQ.

Tilting your end of the cracker downwards at an incline angle during the pull is also said to maximise your chances of winning its contents.

After stringent laboratory tests, a team from QinetiQ's human sciences division concluded that the perfect pulling technique depended on seven key factors.

In addition to grip strategy and incline angle, they found that a steady and controlled pull was necessary to maximise "peak force".

But using too much "twisting force" should be avoided as this increases the strain on the shoulder of the cracker, making it more likely to rip in your opponent's favour.

The remaining factors that should be taken into account are the distance to the centre of gravity of the cracker, the length of the cracker and the quality and density of materials used to construct the cracker.

The Christmas cracker was invented by Victorian baker Tom Smith in 1847."

But what happens if you both attempt to pull the cracker in the same way? Nobody wins? Both people win?? Hurray for scientists! "Bugger trying to find a cure for the common cold, let's work out how to win more Christmas cracker tat!"