Here, there and everywhere

Mutterings continued.

Back from dins with TUS-L who still isn't 100% well. Nice bowl of chilli and rice and a Cosmo juice - watermelon, apple and pineapple.

Did the annual asset register stock take today. This involved walking all over the Zoo looking for items that A. no longer exist; B. no longer exist where they are supposed to; or C. never existed in the first place. Still, it got us out of our offices and into the cold and damp. And I got to get up close to some of the animals - one of the eles was having her teeth cleaned, one of the orangs came up to the wire of her night den inches from where I was standing to have a squizz at where the unfamiliar voices were coming from.

Cold, wet, dark

Mutterings continued.

We've had two power cuts today - the first occured just before lunch while we were in a workshop. Lost the lights and the data projector. Fortunately I hadn't been taking notes on the laptop, as in my wont, but by hand so I didn't lose anything.

And the second happened about 5.30ish. Made me miss the first 10 minutes of Time Team! Next week's is about Greenwich Palace in London. "There is nothing left above ground today of Henry's grand palace, the armoury and tilting yard at Greenwich, which is the site of the former Royal Naval College and more usually associated with Britain's maritime history. " (Just to annoy L and R - been there!)

Went for a bit of a drive.

Mutterings continued.

Lots of activity going on up and down the stairs. The people in the flat above are moving out and it's taking the poor sods all day to move their gear down two flights of stairs.

Went off to Stock Road markets this morning and came back with more books and some vegies. And a couple of bananas. The book stash includes Reginald Hill's A Clubbable Woman (a Dalziel and Pascoe novel), Famous Plays of 1933 (includes Kaufman and Gershwin's Of Thee I Sing), a picture book called London in Colour (1955, red buses in nearly every shot) and a couple of Theatre Quarterlies (Vol. 1: 2, 1971 and Vol.III:9 1973).

Came back, dropped off the booty, had lunch (chicken salad drowned with balsamic vinegar; got a bit carried away) and then choofed off to Bunnings for a mooch through the herb section. Lots of goodies to be had, including stuff I'd never heard of, however I only came back with some Cat Grass, which has been chewed on by M and G already, and some Common Mint. Love the smell of Common Mint.

Foxtel have changed their program packages so I've updated mine to drop sport and include some movie channels (Showtime and World Movies included). Last night I watched a really eerie Chinese thriller from the Pang Brothers called Gin Gwai (The Eye). Review from the NY Times.

My brother put me onto an online radio prog. called Radio 365; I'm currently listening to the SciFantasy station which plays tracks from scifi, anime and fantasy soundtracks. On at present: the Caverns of Isengard from LOTR:FOTR. Just finished: end bit of SW: ANH. Now it's Main Title, Third Season, Babylon 5. Cool.

Hmmm...

Mutterings continued.

not the result I was expecting.

Which Doctor (from Doctor Who) Are You?

You are the sixth Doctor! Well, you're a bit complex, aren't you? No one is really quite sure what to make of you at times. You might even have something akin to a split personality. Your sense of style leaves a lot to be desired, certainly. However, behind the brash and egotistical exterior likes a pair of hearts that has an unequaled thirst for justice and sincere affection for those you surround yourself with.
Take this quiz!








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Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Thanks Dalekboy.

Sunny Shopping Day

Mutterings continued.

Didn't get off to the best of starts - drove to Garden City in Booragoon, got out of the car and thought, "My bad isn't very heavy.". Left me purse at home, didn't I. *sigh* Got back in the car, drove home, got my purse and went to the Coles supermarket round the corner instead. The range isn't as good and they didn't have vacuum cleaner bags.

Got home, a second time, to a message from Leece saying she wasn't coming over tonight as she's not well. Get better soon, L.

Shiny thing purchases from JBs: from the sublime to the gorblimey - The Axiom Archive 1969-1971 and The Monkees' Headquarters. For those who came in late: "Formed in Melbourne in 1969, Axiom were arguably Australia's first "supergroup". Yet, in spite of a wealth of talent and promise, some notable chart successes and two superb albums of original material, they failed to achieve lasting popularity, due in part to waning public support in Australia as they vainly tried to crack the fickle English market, and the band fizzled out after less than two years. Nevertheless, Axiom deserve to be reappraised as an important musical bridge between Sixties pop and Seventies rock in Australia, and as one of the first serious attempts to make Australian rock with international appeal." From Milesago.

They only produced two albums - Fool's Gold and If Only - both of which are on the Archive CD.

I know I say this every week..

Mutterings continued.

but, bloody hell!, it's Friday again. And next week is June.

Another gorgeous day; cold start, only 4c at 4am, but it warmed up nicely and is currently 19c. Much the same tomorrow.

Had lunch with Genette at Book Caffe (I had the usual, so did she, though in her case, the usual is smoked salmon Caesar salad). Sat outside, could have stayed there all arvo, drinking coffee and nattering. I also bought a book - The Picture of Dorian Gray, which has some of interesting contemporary reviews. The words "filth", "mudheap" and "incurably silly" appear.

Not sure what's happening for dins tomorrow night - might have L, not sure about R. I understand Leece may be accompanied by fish.

Brrrrr!!!

Mutterings continued.

2.9c at 5.30 this morning. Sat in the sun at lunch time - sun was nice, wind was bloody cold. 4c tonight, 20 and sunny tomorrow. Typical autumn weather. We could do with a lot more rain, but.

Spent the morning with the boss, sorting out papers, agendas, etc for a workshop next Tuesday. Quick lunch in the sunshine (pie and chips and large cup of coffee). Spent the afternoon in the uniform storeroom helping my Supply Officer do a stocktake and tidy up. We're about half way there.

X Men 3 opens next week; hoping to see it one Sunday at Glod Class.

Cue: SFX Thunder

Mutterings continued.

Great thunderstorm was had this morning. Lots of rain, thunder, lightning and the server going FOOM.

Stumbled across this - the Table of Condiments that Periodically Go Bad. I'm sure Vegemite has a life longer than two months.

Funny!

Mutterings continued.

It's Pong, Jim, but not as we know it.

Ouchies, revisited.

Mutterings continued.

Got a flat inspection on Tuesday so I spent this morning tarting up the verandah. Looks rather nice but I did a bit of damage to my cuticles in the process. And I hate to think how my lower back will be in the morning.

Back from auditions for Hedda Gabler; sat outside, took a couple of names and memberships, handed out the audition pieces, had a cup of tea and then left. Called into Bunnings on the way home to get some storage boxes. Exciting stuff.

Good night last night. The tikka chicken wasn't too bad and Rob's pud with custard was delish. We watched Black Books, Godzilla: Final Wars (which was very funny and had a cool King Ghidorah) and then Attack of the Killer Aubergine (aka It Conquered the World) with Peter Graves. It was nicely Mystied.

"He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection... they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself. "

Sunny, smoggy Saturday

Mutterings continued.

Very large fire in the hills yesterday has resulted in a rather smoggy day. 24c today, 27c forecast for tomorrow.

I have found somewhere new to spend my hard earned - Howard's Storage World. I called in there last night and only came away with three things. Coulda been worse.

No shiny thing purchase this morning, just a rather heavy book - Dymocks came good with their order of Darwin's four books inna box.

L and R for dins tonight; I've made chicken tikka on a stick with rice and pappadams.

Friday? Again??

Mutterings continued.

Another nice, sunny day, though it was rather cool in the shade. Had lunch at the Cafe and wandered back through the Savannah and Lesser Primates. Chad and Taye, the baboons, were being just plain silly - walking on their hands, leaping in the air and wrestling over a piece of coconut shell.

I remembered to take my camera this time and took some pics of the Galap tortoises.





Tortoise gone sleepy bo-boes.



Another doing his exercises.


And this one was moving too damn fast.



And I got some of the Pygmy Marmosets. Took this just after I'd removed a piece of chocolate that some fuckwit stuck in the enclosure mesh. This little guy is removing what was left on the mesh.




And this is mum and the kids. She carries them around like panniers, one on either side.

Dunno who wrote this, but it's amusing: "

Charismatic Autonomous Terminator (CAT)

The Mark I Charismatic Autonomous Terminator (CAT) system is a family of intelligent, stealthy, terminal-homing mouse-seeking missiles featuring multi-sensor targeting with dual night-vision devices, and neural-net architecture.

The CAT's self-righting inertial platform allows launch from any attitude. Integrated multi-aspect attack profile with indefinite- loiter mode insure a wide lethality envelope. Upon target engagement, the CAT deploys four clusters of retractable submunitions in addition to the primary warhead, providing an enhanced radius of destruction.

The CAT uses regular or exotic solid or liquid fuel and is equipped with a low-signature exhaust-obscuration system. Firmware and connectors compatible with any unit of the Mark I series guarantee unlimited expansion capability, making the CAT system a cost-effective countermeasure to the projected spectrum of rodent-threat scenarios well into the next century.

The CAT is now available* from Acme Anti-Roadrunner Systems Division of McDonald Dynamics. See us at the Paris Air Show, Tom Clancy's next movie, or contact Frank Reid at XXXXXXXX (day) or XXXXXXXX (evenings; be patient) for immediate free delivery.

* Cannot be shipped to Iraq."

Watta coupla days!

Mutterings continued.

Didn't blog last night or go out to Dins with TUS (was looking forward to chilli beef; found out from Leece that Betty's had run out of beef so I guess there was an upside). Got home to find only Milo waiting for me at the door - Gus was nowhere in sight. This is most unusual as she loves her food and always demands her dinner. Called her, looked for her, no Gus. She eventually came out of the back room and lay under the kitchen table; didn't want her dinner.

She spent the rest of the evening alternating between hiding in the most inaccessible part of the spare room and the throwing up in the bathroom. I figured I'd be taking her to the vet's this morning, so I put a board across the door to the spare room so she couldn't hide again.

Got up this morning to find her sitting on the lounge; she squeaked at me, as she does, and ran into the kitchen for breakfast. Now Milo was missing. I found him behind the board in the spare room where he didn't move from the time I got up to the time I left for work.

Came home early as I was feeling pretty dodgy ("You're looking very pale, are you alright?") thinking I'll probably be taking Milo to the vet's. Both were at the door - Gus has now eaten two dinners and Milo, though not his usual self, has eaten. And is eating again.

The night before last, Gus got into the rubbish bin and fished out a couple of chop bones. I found them in the lounge room, picked clean. I thought she may have hurt her mouth or teeth. I wasn't looking forward to taking her to the vet's as she's impossible to do anything with - the first and only time she went to the vet's, she had to be sedated for him to check her over. She's now sitting in the kitchen, washing her face, and Milo is staring out the back door.

Had lunch at Secret Squirrel with Kim - we walked there and back again and so can justify the chips that came with the meal. I had pumpkin patties (though I'm convinced the tag next to them said 'pumpkin pobblebonk'.

Two cards from the Post Office in the last two days - Professionals DVDs from the UK and towels from the Assoc. for the Blind.

Put on your black t shirts and break out the air guitar - Darth Vader gone metal.

Watta day!

Mutterings continued.

Spent most of it slumped over the photocopier machine thingie, printing off reams and reams of stuff for the Ethics Committee meeting next week. Looks like I'll have to break out the big envelopes to mail the stuff off in.

Had lunch at the cafe (chicken, avocado, bacon on a toasted panini) and then a walks back through World of Birds and Lesser Primates to see if we could spot the baby Pygmy Marmosets. Twins were born on Friday night and they are soooo cuuuuute.

Put an order in at my local Dymocks bookshop for this on Saturday - "From So Simple a Beginning: Darwin's Four Great Books (Voyage of the H.M.S. Beagle, The Origin of Species, The Descent of Man, The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals)"

Cloudy Sunday

Mutterings continued.

Warm but overcast; rain is threatened.

L, R and Noodles for dins last night. And a rather good episode of Randall and Hopkirk and Space:1999, with Peter Bowles as the expendable Guest Star of the Week. No Mystie, instead a fantastic Godzilla Vs Almost Everybody. King Ghidora was deeply cool.

Amusing lines from Austin Powers in Goldmember:

Japanese Man 1: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA!
Japanese Man 2: It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not.
Japanese Man 1: STILL! WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!
Japanese Man 2: Though it isn't.
[Japanese Man 2 Winks at Camera; both scream and run away]

Took a trip to the Stock Road Markets this morning. Came back with Carnavon bananas (the last lot I bought from there were delish), some apples and a dozen free range eggs (scary though, free ranging eggs) and some more books from The Last Hurrah Bookshop - a Reginald Hill, couple of theatre mags (one from 1963, the other 1975), Sheriden's The Complete Plays (School for Scandal, the Rivals, etc) and Smith's London Journal.

It seems that I am....

Mutterings continued.

Your results: Jean-Luc Picard

Deanna Troi 70%
Will Riker 65%
Uhura 60%
Mr. Scott 55%
Leonard McCoy (Bones) 50%
Geordi LaForge 50%
Mr. Sulu 45%
Spock 42%
James T. Kirk (Captain) 40%
Chekov 40%
Data 39%
Worf 30%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 30%
Beverly Crusher 25%

A lover of Shakespeare and other fine literature. You have a decisive mind and a firm hand in dealing with others.

"http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/startrek"
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz

Ouchies!

Mutterings continued.

I've managed to cut the top of my right hand middle finger (making typing the letters I, K and , difficult) and hurtied my left wrist. *whimper*

Shopping and housework day, prior to L and R coming for dins. Boring grocery shopping and not so boring birthday present shopping this morning, and then far from boring Spotlight and Brittania Coffee Lounge shopping this arvo.

Another Friday!

Mutterings continued.

Blimey. Where are the weeks going?? Nigh on middle of May already.

Nuffink exciting in the letterbox, just an ad for ... something. I screwed it up without reading it.

At work, I got the boss and myself a trackball mousie thing - I like it. I get very sore wrist and shoulders from mousing and using this new-fangled technology has helped. I've got a wireless mouse at home that goes through batteries like mad - I use rechargeables but it's bloody annoying having to keep changing them.

Picked up a Basil Rathbone (seems both my mum and her mum had a huge cruch on him in the 40s) Sherlock Holmes DVD for $2 the other day. I suspect the person who wrote the blurb on the back, a. didn't have a spellchecker, and b. didn't know what they were typing. "The inventor of a revolutionary new bombsite (just the bombsite??) is rescued in Switzerland by Holmes and his always faithful side-kick, Dr John Watson. On their return to London it bcomes evident that the inventor is not all that he seemed.

Sherlock Holme's mortal enemy, Professor James Moriarty, wants control of the bombsite. Holmes and Watson take up thr (sic) challenge to protect the man who invented the device from falling into the habds (sic) of Moriarty and the Nazis."

Cross-eyed Thursday

Mutterings continued.

Spent most of the day cross referencing Orangutan menstrual cycles with occurences of mating and putting the data into a neat, colourful spreadsheet.

Had lunch with Kim at the Dome Cafe in Mends St. We both ordered the club sandwich, which looked quite manageable in the menu but turned out to be huge. Had trouble finishing it (we both left bits of bread but managed to finish the fillings). There's an ad on the Dome page for a Dome Choc Wedge - they are soooo good! I got hooked on them when I was working in the Education Office last year. There's an ice cream vending machine close by - too close by - and every afternoon we would go on the Choc Wedge run. Thank the Small Gods we don't have such an evil machine up our end of t'Zoo. We have charity chocolates instead (Freddos, Caramello Koalas, etc) in the fridge in the Exotic Office; money from the sales go to Rhino projects.

A warm day - it's currently 28c! And it's autumn, for crying out loud. Much the same over the next three days, with a possiblity of showers on Monday.

Oooh, cool Dr Who stuff. Hmmm, would like a clockwork Dalek. There's also a Patrick Troughton model - wonder if they'd make me a David Troughton version??

And apropos of nothing, I have a small lump on my arm where I had my flu jab, but no bruising.

Chilli Wednesday

Mutterings continued.

Back from dining with the full complement of TUS. I had the chilli beef and an iced coffee. Lunch was a curried egg sarnie and a wander through the Savannah to catch up on Chad and Taye the baboons, and the three Galap tortoises. #3 Tortoise was up to his eyeballs in mud in the wallow, having climbed over (yes, over) the logs placed around it.

Earlier in the evening I called into the library to drop three books off and picked another one up. And a vid of Merchant of Venice starring Bob Peck.

Shiny thing purchase - package in the letterbox, inside the soundtrack of Randall and Hopkirk (Decd.). Great stuff on it, including a very nice track by Gay Dad called U.S. Roach.

Monday Monday

Mutterings continued.

Nice weather, huge plume of smoke coming from the direction of the hills in the east.

BAFTAs:

The BBC's Doctor Who and Bleak House have triumphed at the British Academy Television Awards.

They each won two awards at the London ceremony, including best drama series for Doctor Who, and best drama serial.

Doctor Who's Billie Piper, who plays the Time Lord's sidekick Rose Tyler, accepted the award for best drama series on stage with a dalek.

The BBC One programme also took the Pioneer Audience Award, which was voted for by TV viewers, which Piper described as "a treat".

Speaking afterwards, Doctor Who writer Russell T Davis said: "It's lovely, it's gobsmacking, it's a programme that children watch and the family watch."

BBC Four political comedy The Thick Of It took the award for best sitcom, along with best comedy performance for Chris Langham.

Langham said: "If it wasn't for the fact that she hates having attention drawn to her I would like to thank my wife for being the most loyal, constant and honourable friend a person could have."

He added: "I'm deeply grateful, it [the award] really means a lot to me."

Hurray for Chris Langham! Hurray for Russell T Davis!

Forgot!

Mutterings continued.

Forgot to mention that we also watched Space:1999 last night. It featured a bright yellow moon buggy, which prompted an outburst of the theme from The Banana Splits (La la lah, la la-la lah, etc) from Leece and I every time it appeared. Oh, we laughed until we stopped.

Another great weekend

Mutterings continued.

L and R for dins last night - the vegetable curry and pilau rice turned out rather well. Think I'll increase the quantities of spices next time. The rice wasn't exactly right as I'd run out of onions and didn't have any coriander or brown mustard seeds. Made do with yellow mustard seeds instead. On the plus side, the rice came with a lucky dip - anybody who found the cardamon pods won...a cardamon pod.

Dessert consisted of some lovely plum tartlets, greek yoghurt and Lindt chocs. Mmmm....

The night's viewing: B5 extras from the season 5 DVD (Marcus is frozen, not dead, by the way. The Great Maker said so.); trailers and an interview with Ray Harryhausen from a triple DVD set; Kolchak (Attack of the 7 foot weed monster); Black Books; and the Mysied The Dead Talk Back (only they didn't) - "The first movie filmed entirely with flashlights!".

More quotes:

From "The Selling Wizard" short
Narrator- "What is the first thing that makes a selling wizard?"
Tom- "Bosoms."
(a diagram of a defrosting system is shown)
Narrator-"This cross-section-
Mike- "Makes no sense."
N-"In this 27 cubic foot freezer-"
Mike- "Bodies stack easily"

Took a trip to Fremantle Markets this morning. Had a great long chat with David who works in Magpie's Penny's bookshop about theatre (he's a member of the Croatian theatre group - acts and does props and sets) and Dr Who (discussion about having to provide props for Nightingale naturally segued into The Empty Child episode of Dr Who). Bought a book too - another in the JM Barrie set of plays. Entitled Mary Rose, I think it was one of his early plays. Ooh, just found a couple of postcards inside to send to Macmillan's for a list of new books. "Name (please state style: Miss, Mrs, Rev., etc) requests Messrs. Macmilland & Co to send their General List of New Books as issued, and also fuller information respecting works on those subjects in the following Classifaction which are maked with an X.)

There's a very nice herb and spice shop in the markets where I bought some fenugreek, cumin and corianderr seeds. Also bought a spinach and fetta damper from the bread shop. Tasty.

On doing a bit of research on JM Barrie's plays, I learned that the some of The Boys over whom he became guardian had such tragic ends. One was killed in WW1, one drowned with a friend in a possible suicide pact and another committed suicide at the age of 63.

Was a Soggy Saturday

Mutterings continued.

but it appears to be fining up. Shame.

I've just cut up all the vegies and weighed out the spices for tonight's curry veg and rice. I've managed to get tumeric under my nails again so they've gone a lovely yellow colour.

No shiny thing purchases today, just some clothes (including a pair of trousers 2 sizes smaller than I've worn the last couple of years. Woo hoo!) and a pair of ankle boots. With a heel. Well, 2 heels, one on each boot.

I'd love to get, and use, these.

Foody Thursday

Mutterings continued.

Another fine day, though there are a few clouds about.

Kim and I had lunch at Secret Squirrel and both had the Chicken...something. We both thought it said pistacio, which was odd. It was a very nice chicken and pasta dish.

It's been a B5 kind of week - got the series 5 DVDs a couple of days ago and editions 1 and 2 of the scripts today.

The trailer for Casino Royale, the latest Bond outing, has been out for a little while. The usual quick cuts, dramatic music and it's hard to make a judgement about Daniel Craig's incarnation of Bond.

Critter Wednesday

Mutterings continued.

Back from dinner with TUS-L-R. I called into the Cat and Fiddle gift shop and bought myself some owls. Very cute. And then I had nachos with Steveg and Maureen. Great to catch up.

Our lunch time perambulations took us to the Silvery Gibbons via the Crested Macaques and White-cheeked Gibbons (the ones I can hear singing from my office). The bub Silvery G was having a great old time brachiating to and fro and generally being a nuisance to the rest of the troop.

We were met on the path near my office by a Kookaburra that allowed us to touch it.

Gus is in 'waiting for the mothership to land' mode. She keeps staring up at the front door. The last time she stared at something like that, a picture fell off the wall.

BBC's Radio 4 has got a great list of comedy shows online, including I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and Dead Ringers.

I've just finished reading A.R.R.R. Roberts' The Va Dinci Cod. Most amusing. My favourite section is his description of the 'hero': "His teachers despaired of him. He found it hard to take the conventional syllabus in. For many years he had believed that the noted Jacobean tragedy was indeed called Tis a Pity She's a Whore Stop Giggling at the Back Jenkins. He couldn't remember the difference between the three Lawrences, the DH (Mr), the TE (Mr) and the Merry Xmas (Mr).

Robert was an all-round scholar. By which I mean he was all round. He looked like one of those vast pale balloons that used to terrorise Patrick McGoohan on the beach at Port Meirion - same shape, same colour and, pretty much, the same consistency, only with a broad flat-topped head at one end."

Sunny Tuesday

Mutterings continued.

The lovely weather continues. Cold last night and this morning, followed by a shiny day. We had lunch at the Zoo caff (now that the school hols are over we can venture back out into the park) and then wandered back through the Savannah and past the eles. Chad and Taye, the young baboons, were playing chasey while the older females ignored them. Chad had a stick that he wasn't going to let his older brother get a hold of. The Galap tortoises were out and about and actually moving. And the bull elephant was trumpetting very loudly and giving his toys a good going over.

Amusements.

Viz is a UK comic aimed at lads. It's mysoginistic and crude and, occasionally, very funny. Following is a sampling of letters:

Letters sent to Viz

----------

Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the Ashes

this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC Sports

personality of the Year. Winning a two- team tournament against a nation

with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never

shutting up about it makes me proud to be British.

Ben Hunt

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of

heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living

too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish

they'd make their minds up.

John

------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.

Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.

Colin Hill

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was a

mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive.The Royal Mail lose

around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I

would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme.

She was sent by DHL next day delivery.

L Palmer, London

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD

pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make

from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they

stop breaking the law, so will I.

P Boddington, Ringway

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just

like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's

m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh?

P, Leeds

------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of

Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in

Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've

obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy (chip shop)on the

Gloucester Road

Alan J., London

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris

patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim cleric

Abu Hamsa.

Les, Barnsley

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in

Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just

me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the

poor sods?

John Campbell, e-mail

------------------------------------------------------------------------

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers

try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of

Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the last

time he played hide and seek with them.

Shuggie, e-mail

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with

the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I

hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid

sense of humour.

Chris Scaife, Jesmond

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David

Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but

isn't this taking gloating just a little too far?

Dave Owen, Edinburgh

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad is

Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.

Stan

------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the

world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.


And now, for anyone wanting to become an Ostayan, this:

Australian Citizenship Test

1. How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Ute while still allowing room for the cattle dog?

2. How many beers in a slab?

3. When packing an Esky, do you put the ice or the beer in first?

4. Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:

(a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, a ham and lots of booze, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball, eaten in 40C heat.

(b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie with a lot of booze and a ham in 40C heat.

(c) a) for lunch and b) for dinner.

5. How many beers in a slab?

6. What is the meaning of "Yeah-Nah"

(a) "Yes and no"

(b) "Maybe"

(c) "Yes I understand and no I don't agree"?

7. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages:

a) Once

b) As often as necessary to cook

c) After each stubby

d) Until charcoal?

8. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:

a) Drinking beer a mate's place

b) Drinking beer at the beach

c) Drinking beer watching the cricket

d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

9. What is someone is more likely to die of:

1) Red back spider

2) Great white shark

4) King brown snake

5) Your missus after a big night out.

10. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

11. Name at least five (5) items that must be taken to a BBQ.

12. What does ‘chunder' mean?

13. Explain the meaning of the word bastard?

14. What do the following terms mean:

a) Mate?

b) Maate?

c) Maaaaaaate?

Back at it.

Mutterings continued.

Well, that's Monday out of the way. Had a couple of walks to the other end of the Zoo and back for meetings and a mooch around the shop for a nice elephant painting. I called into the Ele barn on the way but didn't get to see any eles.

Last night I made the vegetable curry in the Simple Recipes book and am very happy with the results. Mmmm....mustard seed and fenugreek. I was missing one ingredient - ginger - but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. I think I may have to make it for L and R this Saturday.

A fun, educational blog - Memoirs of a Skepchic. Equally cool - Skepchic Magazine.

One of the songs in ep 1 of Randall and Hopkirk (decd) has been going through my head since Saturday and I MUST HAVE IT! So I ordered the soundtrack from Amazon for the princely sum of 5 quid. The song, by the way, is My Body May Die, by Pulp vs The Swingle Singers, a smigeon of which can be found on the Amazon page.